Should

January 9, 2026

When I first got this blog together in 2015, it was from the small room upstairs in grandfather’s house, with his beloved Hindu shrine on one side, and a desk against the wall on the other.

I had been living there since around March, after years of conflict and fear had peaked with my brother and parents. During the first few months, staying in another part of London was like existing without someone’s knee pressing down firmly on my throat; gone were the days of sidling down the same streets towards the prison-like secondary school I had survived for 7 years. The walls of the house I was in no longer quaked and quivered with the sounds of shouting and threats. I could walk down the stairs and pass by a room and not worry about waking some kind of wolf.

I could breathe.

InStuff

Left Behind

January 6, 2026

Now that I’ve got off the rollercoaster made of ice after landing back in London, after over the emotional hangover of sipping the toxins served up by family, and after making it through the storms of writer’s block and depression, I’m ready to move on.

And by “move on,” I really mean go back.

To dust off the last tapes on the back shelf of my mind for my last days in Thailand. When I made my last post from Bangkok, I was on the other end of being so sick I couldn’t leave that incredible apartment, which upon entering the first time, thought I would never want to leave. After days with the curtains drawn and staring at the television like I do back home, occasionally looking out the huge windows at the city streets my stomach forbid me from taking a trip down to, there was nothing more I wanted to do than leave.

InStuff

I Remember

January 3, 2026

How time flies, indeed. Since I last typed up here in my precious blog, we’ve shifted from 2025 into 2026. Now I can technically say it’s been a year since I posted in here, although it’s really been almost 3 months. And I find a few things kinda of amazing in this first paragraph:

The first being that it’s only been one year (technically) since I typed in here, and actually 3 months. I started to put this blog together around 10 years ago and had so many high hopes for it and my life, before it all just kind of… Fell away. Into obscurity, along with my mental health and soul. So, to be posting in here as much as I did last year when I was abroad, and now to be returning to the blog right now when I’m not abroad… and to actually finally be able to say with all truthfulness and sincerity that it’s PRECIOUS to me… I find that amazing, and has hit me harder than I thought it would.

Because for a long time now, it’s been so difficult for me to be able to say anything is precious to me, let alone my writing, or telling my story. It made me so sad to sometimes come across my blog, and to see it empty apart from the only 2 posts I made 10 years ago, a time I described to someone as being “the last time I really felt alive.”

But here I sit, all this time later, looking back at something incredible and recent, and looking forwards to more; more writing, more laughter with people, more travelling.

More of finding the answer to that question, “who am I?”

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